The Elusive Aimee Ault

I put my array down, flip it, and reverse it.


In June, I started a foray into Crossfit. It’s been a really wonderful journey into acquiring two tickets to the gun show, but I’m a bit sloppy outside of the gym. I often return from class and eat the first thing I can get my hands on because I’m starving.  Like pizza. Sometimes I forget to eat lunch because I’m busy with work. I think I look great, but I often don’t feel great. So, for me, November will become “No-fucking-up-vember.”

For at least one month, I will attempt to adhere to these rules: 

  1. Drink one gallon of water a day.
  2. No beer or liquor. 1-2 glasses of wine a week max.
  3. 2 cheat meals a week (because it’s practical and also because not doing this would be social suicide, I think)
  4. Paleo (modified though, because I eat things like beans and greek yogurt).
  5. No skipping Crossfit days. Unless I am very ill, if I sign up, I go.
  6. 8-9 hours of sleep a night.
  7. 1 Pilates session a week.
  8. Daily fish oil and Vitamin D supplement.
  9. Although I ride my bike about 5-15 miles a day currently, at least one day a week, riding 20+ miles.

I am aware that Thanksgiving occurs in November. But that doesn’t really mean anything to me. I’ve done vegan Thanksgiving before and Paleo Thanksgiving couldn’t possibly be weirder than vegan Thanksgiving was. Most of these rules I don’t think will be that difficult for me, however I suspect cutting alcohol from my life will be pretty shitty because I love a good ale and whiskey. I enjoy cooking, so I think once I get into the habit of cooking, I’ll have an appreciation for it.

During this time, I’ll be posting weekly updates, including any times I’ve slipped up, any horror stories, or anything I uncover that is generally very awesome and worth sharing.



On Turning Thirty

I turn 30 today.

And it feels pretty uneventful [in a good way]

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Making the Most of Redis and Sorted Sets

I recently did quite a bit of work on a project that uses Redis for its primary method of data storage. Like many developers, I’ve used Redis before for simple key/value retrieval, but not for much else. What I ended up learning is that Redis works phenomenally for a few very specific functionalities, one of which is very low-cost sorting of data sets. This works really great for leaderboard-type implementations, which is what I used it for on Treehouse. Ultimately, we ended up with a starting Sorted Set including several dozens of thousands of records, based on points and badges that Treehouse students earn while learning.

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On New Jobs and Why I’m Not Afraid of Being Edgy

Most people I’m friends with know that I recently switched jobs. It was a really difficult decision to make ultimately, mostly because the opportunity blindsided me somewhat. I didn’t really think to write about it until recently, though, when I realized that on the upcoming marking of one full decade of me working professionally in development, I have worked over 7 of those years as a remote employee and that’s really something.

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That Time I Got High in Amsterdam

Last summer, I went to Amsterdam for a few days between Stockholm and London. Although I kept a journal while there, the days passed in a swift, vivid, nauseating blur, and the story I share the most from Amsterdam with friends is one I never wrote down–out of complete, morbid embarrassment. Which means it is probably a good story.

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Iraq From Above


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That Time I Got My Fortune Told

I’m not spiritual. I’m not religious. I don’t believe in arcane powers. I don’t believe that anyone, short of a time traveler, knows what the future holds with any degree of certainty. But every time I pass by a psychic’s booth on a dark, steamy street in a big city, I wonder what they would say to me. Perhaps it’s some element of self-importance or deep introspection–maybe I will be the one that defeats it and will be “unreadable,” a brooding passenger in the sands of time, confounding and perplexing the most clairvoyant of the world.

I’m not skeptical of psychics entirely, though, just their supernatural powers. Because like others, their profession operates entirely on slight of hand. Their job is to read–it’s just not cards they’re reading. They’re reading you.

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2013: Everything Happens So Much

Earlier this year, FourSquare released this nifty little visualization graph for your check-ins. When it came out, I joked to my friends that mine told a really sad story:



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New York City: Horse Fuckers Volume 9

A minor excerpt from my stay in New York last October:

After visiting 5 Pointz, we reconvened at Court Square Diner. Outside was a small video shop, DCD Exclusive Video. FourSquare revealed that practically no one had ever checked in here, but the signage boasted the “best DVD selection” and “booths for swinging.” Joel and I had a discussion about what “swinging” meant here, but we couldn’t come to a consensus. Having been around the world and then some, I figured I could be the judge of that. Nothing really shocks me anymore when it comes to sex and pornography. And from its front, DCD Exclusive Video was unassuming. A stocky Indian man sat at the front in his pharmacist-height counter, greeting us with an expected and prescribed amount of demur.

Dual-headed foot-circumference dildos, comically oversized but posing themselves as more serious than most would gather buttplugs, and oddly… a frankly admirably large collection of VHS cassettes. However, not of pornographic quality, no. Melissa Joan Hart movies. And Rescue 911 episodes. Dusty sleeves. Bottles of window cleaner. Just as we were about to leave out of boredom, the store clerk instructed us to go into the back, that we can “watch the movies.” I at first thought he was implying we could watch Drive Me Crazy. But he pointed towards the back room, guarded with a beaded curtain.

We reluctantly entered and another portly gentleman stood with his arms crossed in an overwhelming stack of pornographic DVDs–including an entire shelf dedicated to bestiality. Horse Fuckers Volume 9. DCD Exclusive Video had all 12 volumes.


WebRTC: A Fun Little Primer

A couple of months ago, I posted a “call to action” regarding the state of Google’s MediaStream API, which is meant to be used with cool new web technology like WebRTC. You’ve probably seen WebRTC already. It allows you to record video and audio through your webcam without having to use Flash or some sort of third-party technology–it’s all handled through the browser. This is particularly cool because it can allow for things like real-time video chatting without all parties having to download extra software (for example, Chat Roulette operates on Flash… if you hate Flash, you’re fucked). With WebRTC, as long as your browser supports it, you’re in.

A lot of people don’t know about WebRTC though and kind of float away from it because of that, so I’m going to share my experience with it in a non-complainy context because it’s kind of awesome!

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